Ohio Jewish Chronicle, 1994-07-28

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The Ohio Jewish Chronicle
Serving Columbus and the Central Ohio
Jewish Community since 1922
VOLUME 72
NUMBER 30
.JULY 28,1994
20 AV 5754
B'nai B'rith launches
Israel investment plan
page 2
Kenneth Palestrant new
Agudas Achim president
page 2
ADL report becomes
political football
I page 3
Hussein's gesture sign
Of changing Mideast
page 4
Local B'nai B'rith to host
Community Picnic at Zoo
page 5
Rabbi Hillel Fox accepts
pulpit in Dayton, Ohio
paged
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At left, a child of interfaith parents learns the function of a kiddush cup during a
model Havdalah service, and above, a youngster puts the finishing touches on a
plaster menorah. Both children are enrolled in the "Stepping Stones to a Jewish Me"
program at Congregation Emanuel, a Reform synagogue in Denver, pie pioneering
program, developed eight years ago by Babbi Steven E. Foster of Emanuel, has
become a model for similar programs across the country. It is designed to teach boys
and girls of intermarried families about the Jewish side of their heritage and provide
parents with a basis for deciding which religion to choose for their offspring.
A DENVER EXPERIMENT GOES NATIONAL
'Stepping Stones9 program eases journey
to Judaism for children of intermarriage
Seated at mini-tables and
chairs, seven-year-old twins
Hilary and Stephanie Austin
studied their picture books
with intense concentration.
Around them, a dozen other
children read, sipped apple
juice or whispered giggled secrets.' :
It could have been a room of
first- or second-graders anywhere. But this class, at Congregation Mishkan Israel in
Hamden, Conn., was different. All the boys and girls were
the offspring of interfaith marriages, whose parents are trying to decide which religion to
choose for them.
The children and the grownups . were participants in an
unusual program, "Stepping
Stones to a Jewish Me," a nationwide effort fostered by the
Union of American Hebrew
Congregations to teach the
children of interfaith marriages about their Jewish heritage and to help their parents
come to grips with nagging
problems of religious identity.
The program is free. The only
charge is for books, crayons
and other materials.
The heed to deal with such
issues was once a rarity. But in
recent years it has become
commonplace as the rate of
interfaith unions has soared.
Today, 52 percent of Jews who
marry choose non-Jewish
spouses, according to the National Jewish Population
Study.
"For our family the program is truly a stepping stone,"
says Cathy Austin, mother of
Hilary' and Stephanie and
their younger sister, Samantha,
6, who is enrolled in a Stepping
Stones class for young non-
readers.
Cathy, who is Jewish, and
her husband Tim, a Catholic,
had discussed raising their
three girls as Jews. "But we
weren't quite ready for a full
commitment," Cathy explains.
"We felt it was a critical step,
implying a permanent emo
tional, spiritual and financial
commitment. And we needed
an interim period to decide
whether formal affiliation
with a synagogue was desirable and, if so, which congregation to join,"
Children Learn,
Parents Listen
Participants in the Mishkan
Israel program attend one two-
hour session approximately every other week, except in the
summer. Launched two years
ago, the program enrolls some
20 families, including about
30 children, at any one time.
While the children meet to
learn about Jewish holidays,
history and ritual from religious school teachers, the parents take part in discussions,
usually led by rabbis from various branches of Judaism, on
the fundamentals of Judaism.
Psychologists also address the
adult group, stressing children's identity needs and explaining the process of moral
development in the young.
Following the formal program, the parents engage in
free-wheeling conversations
about the common problems
they face as interfaith families,
particularly those involving
children.
The Mishkan Israel program is funded by a grant from
the local Jewish federation
and sponsored by local Jewish
community groups. Like Stepping Stones projects in other
synagogues, it is modeled after
an experimental program developed eight years ago by
Rabbi Steven E. Foster of Temple Emanuel in Denver, Colo.
Although the program in
Hamden is currently limited
to families with young children, the sponsors hope to extend it to those with teenage
youngsters, if additional funds
can be found.
.*, "The interfaith families who
come to us are an interesting
mix," explains Arline Brown
McCarthy,  former program
coordinator at Mishkan Israel.
"Some have already decided
to raise their children as Jews
but need to learn more about
Judaism before making a lasting commitment in terms of
membership in a synagogue.
Others are still hesitant and
want to explore Judaism before choosing the faith in
which they'.want- to rear the
children."
Family Commitment
At Temple Anshe Shalom
Beth Torah in Olympia Fields,
111., Stepping Stones administrator Sharon Wasserberg notes
that much ofthe success ofthe
program stems from the fact
that it represents a family rather than an individual commitment. Families agree to sign
up for a two-year program.
'Although everyone is involved," she says, "often it is
one spouse who shows up regularly because the other may
"be busy professionally and
cannot attend every meeting."
In many instances, she adds, it
is the non-Jewish spouse who
attends most frequently.
That was the case with Joan
and Robert Mahler, and their
two oldest children, David,7,
and Lauren, 4. The family enrolled at the Anshe Shalom
Beth Torah program. "I had a
two-year-old at home and
couldn't make every meeting," says Joan Mahler, who is
Jewish. "But Bob went religiously." Although Mr. Mahler remains a Catholic, Stepping Stones helped the couple
decide to raise their children
as Jews. ,
The Olympia Fields program, like Hamden's, is fund-,
ed by the local Jewish federation.
Stepping Stones teachers
constantly allude to the enthusiasm of their young students
— and to the satisfaction they
derive as teachers. "It's exciting, because you never know
how your pupils' lives are affected by-what you teach,"
Wasserberg says. "In some
cases the impact shows up
only years later."
Rabbis Also Benefit
But it is not only the interfaith families who gain. The
rabbis who lead the discussions with' parent groups also
benefit. For many, it is their
first experience with such families. Saundra Heller, former
administrator of Denver's pioneering Stepping Stones program, reports that some intermarried couples have had
negative experiences with rabbis who strongly disapprove of
such unions and have been
cold if not hostile. Stepping
Stones is often the first opportunity some rabbis have had to
view interfaith couples on a
human level rather than as a
statistical threat to the future
of Judaism. The experience
often sensitizes them to the
needs and concerns of inter-
marrieds and teaches them to
view such programs as a lifeline to Jewish survival, Heller
asserts.
Her successor, Phyllis Adler, current administrator of
the Temple Emanuel program,
agrees. The great strength of
Stepping Stones, she contends, is its refusal to press
families to adopt Judaism.
"There is no pressure," she explains. "While, we quietly
hope that the families who
come to us will ultimately
choose to raise their children
as Jews, our job is to acquaint
them with Judaism, so they
can make an informed decision for themselves." The
Denver program, unlike some
of the newer ones, maintains
classes for teenagers as well as
little ones.
Although most of the 140
families that have gone
through the Stepping Stones
program in Denver have chosen Judaism, a few have decided to raise their children as
Christians, Heller says. On the
see •STONES' pg. 5
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