Mt. Vernon Republican (Mount Vernon, Ohio : 1854), 1862-11-13

              111 MOUNT VERNON, OHIO THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13 1862. NO 2 THE MOUNT VERNON REPUBLICAN. TERMS: For one year (invariably in advance)?2,00 For nix montUB, 1,00 TERMS OF ADVr.IlTISINO. One square, 3 wo.'ks, One square, 8 months, 'One square, 6 mouths, One square, 1 year, One square (changeable monthly) Changeable weekly, Two squares, 8 weeks, Two squares, 6 weeks, Two squares, 3 months, Two squares, C months, Two squares, 1 year, Three squares, 3 woeks, Three squares, 6 weeks, Three squares, 3 months, Three s juarcs, 6 months, "Three suuares. 1 year. 1,00 3,00 4,50 0,00 10,00 15,00 1,75 3,25 5,25 6,75 8,00 2,60 4,50 6,00 8,00 10,00 'One-fourth column, chan. quarterly, 15,00 One-third " " " 22,00 One-half " " 28,00 Ono column, changeable quarterly, 50,00 All local notices of advertisements, or calling attention to any enterprise intended to benefit individuals or corporations, will "be charged at the rate often ceuta per line. Select ftoctnj. From ch N. Y Aavocato. PARTING WORDS. BY ANNE I. HOVE. Farting words! O how they grieve ub, Murmured e'er so soft and sweet By dear friends about to lcavo us, Who in life wo ne'er may meet.' Plaintive as the moans that summer Breathes o'er flow'rets as they die, Comes to our sad hearts the murmur Of that saddest word, good-by. 'For this life is so uncertain, Full of chilling doubts and fears; Who can lift the sable curtain Hiding all the coming years? Who can tell that friends now going To some far off, distant shore, Shall return with hearts o'crflowing With the life and love of yore? Music when the stars are beaming At the quiet midnight hour, Waking us from pleasant dreaming Owns such strange mysterious power. Though the minstrels have departed, And we turn again to sleep. Still wo hear it tears have started, Echoing through our slumbers deep. And the words which loved ones whisper When they're bidding us farewell, With the memory of each lisper Ever in our heart shall dwell. With each morning's bright returning, And each evening's sunset skies, Ever bilging, ever yearning, For the sweet glance of their eyes. Though our hearts with grief may quiver If we hear how changed their love; Or they've crossed death's solemn river For the fadeless clime above. Glorious land 1 where each to-morrow Brighter glows than e'er before; Where dear friends who part in sorrow There shall meet to part no more. A Short Patent Sermon I will give you a sermon to-day drawn from the following text: "The lady who beside a tub, Is not afraid to wring or rub; Or, on the floor ashamed to scrub, And cares not who calls in to see Her laboring so industriously, Will make a wife for you or me." My hearers: It was ordained by Heav- en not by the devil that every man should have a wife; and every woman bless ed with a husband. In the beginning (Jod made two of the genut homoot op posite sex. The one He elected positively, the other negatively, so that when they approximated, their mystical effeot would he produced one to another. The how, the why, the wherefore, no mortal has yet been able to understand neither u it nec ssary that he sheuld. That the sexes naturally approach and adhere to each other, through some mysterious influence admits of no solution. Let it suffice that is so. When the Creator made Adam, he saw that it was not good for him to be alone, so he mesmerised the man dug a rib from his side without the Uast particle of pain and from it made Eve, to be-. a helpmate for him, as well as a fancy play- thing. Now without knowing what Jove was, they could'nt help loving, the mo- meqt they set eyes on ono another. He cast sheep eyes at her in the distance, aad she threw some killing glances on him in .return that fired his soul, and set his heart to vibrating like a splinter upon a ehest- 'autrail In a sou'wester. TheY .fiaally MtnA Xitmt MM ninr1 ft. avni.l. of apple se ds swimming in ft basin of water. B at situated as they were-at first, and having little or no manual labor to perform Eve could be of little utility to Adum, and Adam couli'n't be a great deal for Eve. Still they loved and were ready to assiHt each other in cane of any immcrgent casu alty, and so when they found that aprons were necessary, they set to, and with the necdlo worked together for mutual good. Eve only understood plain sewing she knew nothing about your embroidery, lace working, and piano playing, and cared not about the same. The couple were perfectly happy in their rude state until the old serpent got among them, and even then stuck to each other through thick and thin through all the brambling vicissitudes of life from Paradise to Perdition.My brethren since you know that mar riage is a divine institution, and that every ono of you should have a wife, and what kind of a rib would you select? A pretty little useless doll, or a woman big ;nd spunky enough to wrestle with a bear and come off first best? I imagine you would not care much for either extreme, but you would look for personal charms. O you foolish idolaters at the shrine of beauty 1 Know you not that thousands are happy with homely ones? Homely without but beautiful within. Alas! what is beauty? It is a flower that wilts and withers as soon as it is plucked; a transient rainbow; a fleoting meteor; a deceitful will-o' the wisp; sublimated moonshine. The kind of wife you want is of good morals and knows how to mend trowscrs; who can reconcile peeling patatocs with practical or fashionable piety; who can waltz with the churn dash, and sing with tho tea kettle, who understands broomology and the true science of mopping, who can knit stockings without knitting her brows, and knit up her husband's ravelled sleeve of eare, who prefers sewing tears with hor needle, to sowing tares of scandal with her tongue. Such is decidedly a better half. Take her up if you can get her, let her be up to her elbows in the suds of the wash tub, or picking geese in a cow stable. My hearers My text speaks of a lady at a wash -tab. You may 'think it absurd, but let me assuro you that a femalo can be a lady beside a wash tub or in a kitchen as much as in a drawing-room or in a par lor. What constitutes a lad y ? It is not a costly dress, paint for the cheeks, false hair or still falser airs; but it is her deportment, her intellectual endowments, and that evi dence of virtue which commands the silent respect and admiration of the world. Sho would be recognized as a lady at once, it matters not where, nor in what situation she were feund whether scorching bed bugs with a red hat pokor, or hollering hallelujah at a Methodist camp mooting! All that I have further to say, fellow- bachelors, is, that when you marry, see that you get a lady inside and out one who knows how to keep the pot boiling, and looks well to her household. So mote it be. Tot the Ohio Cultivator. Always Away Up or Away Down. Harry Bell is one of those people al ways away up in the warm sunshine or down in the miasmal swamps; not a biteven-tempered and genial and serene andquict-hcart-ted, like we all should be. Why, sometimes he goes dancing into the house leaving the doors open, tickles his mother, drops a bit of snow into Carrie's bossom, pulls baby's curls, hides Kitty's doll, batters his father's hat into all sorts of funny shapes, set the puppy up on the mantle shelf, and laughs boisterously at the kitten creeping about with its furry little head thrust into his glove. When his mother is not looking at him he takes a good drink from the cream pitch er and when she hears the noise and turns round, there will be Harry, gazing into the fire, as soberly as though he was thinking of tne contrast between time and eternity, or of the resurrection morning. Then, perhaps, tho very next morning, Harry will come in banging the doors, thumping his feet down, with a solid, sul len tread, his hands thrust into his pockets, his brows drawn, his lips compressed and white, his shoulders thrown haughtily back ward, his fine eyes even seems to be moody, and lies on his brow in flakes, or sticks to the sides of his face. If baby rcaohes up its fat fists, he gathers himself away from it, drawing his hat down low on his forehead. If Caroline says, "llarrU I " in her caressing ehild-way, and stands near him to draw his attention, he merely elbows her little self toone-side, with a giuff:"goawayl don't bother me !" And Carrie with her hands folded behind her, stands still, look ing down at the checks on her apron until the mistiness in her eyes makes the checks all run into one-then she goes off and swallows down on the sobs, tilll her moth r'l cheery, "put on the knives and forks, honey!" makes bar forget that Harry is J away down low again ! And all through theso long years gone, it has ever been thus with our beautiful manly Harry, who is always, away up or away down. He in a stronger to that beautiful serenity of soul, that iH like a soft summer sunset, falling evenly and alike,upon the high bleak hills, and the low green vallies, Poor Harry ! ho is casting down the lest part of life withholding from it its best wishes its brightest crown of jewels 1 There are none more to be pitied than thoso who live in this poor starving way. "What a charming girl Miss Y. is,"said a friend lately, "She is tho very life of a party so lively, and witty, and full ofjoy!" How blindly he saw the charming Miss Y. It was impolite in me to say, yet I theught: "Ah drunken with cxcitcment.as topers are drunken with wine!" I had seen in her own home, angry with tho bois terous merriment ofthe poor little brothers who had been shut up in school all day, had heard hcrscold her mother and when evening came, had seen her take up a late copy of the Ledger, with an unfinished Sylvanus-Cobb-Jr.-story in it, and sit down to read, saying; "the tale aint finished, but I don't care, there is enough to last me till bed time, and that's all I want just some thing to pass away the time. And sitting right there in ouruiidst.with her back towards us, she did pass tho time very well, until the clock struck cight,when she looked up with a scowl and: "Mother, it is the children's bed time, don't you know! and Mother laid down her work and undressed them and put them in bed. " Wirt try and tolerate life," I heard a gentleman say once with the most doleful faee I ever looked into. He had been un fortunate in trade, his health was impaired; and ho had somewhat to grieve him; but, oh! no one can bear trouble enough to tempt them to cast such blasphemy in the face of our Father, God! Tolerate life! A life in this beautiful earth of ours a delightful resting place designed to prepare us for the glory of the life beyond this! You whoso eyes may glance over those crude sentiments, is there a perpetual quiet in your souls? Have you taught subjection to your waywardncss?or do youjliveby starts and spasms? Do you walk evenly 0nward or do you run and leap, and fly.and then lie down wearily, away from the white wings that would fold serenely over you? Most of all, let us look well to ourselves, let us cultivate generous naturcs.a nd be hope, ful and prayerful and watchful, lest our buoyancy lift usHip too high, our little depressions sink us down too low. ROSELLA. Story of a Pig. Rev. J. 0. Wood, in his "Animal Traits and Characteristic," thus glorifies one: A curious animal is a pig, gentlemen! Very cunning, too a great deal more sen sible than people give him credit for. I had a pigaboard my ship that was tooknow-ing by half. All hands were fond of him, and there was not one on board that would have seen hiin injured. There was a dog on board, too, and the pig and ho were cap ital friends; they ate out out of the same plate, walked about the decks together, and would lie down side by side under the bul warks in the sun. The only thing they ever quarreled about was lodging. The dog, you see, sir, had got a kennel for him self; the pig had nothing of the sort. We did not think he needed one; but he had his own notions upon that matter. Why should Toby be better homed than he? Well, sir, ho had somehow got into his head that possession was nino parts of the war; and Toby tried to show him the rights of the question, he was pig-headed that he cither would not or could not understand. So every night it came to be "catch as catch can." If the doggot in first he would show his teeth, and tho other had tolio under tho boat, or to find the softest plank that he could; if tho pig was found in pos session, the dog could not turn him out, but looked out for his revenge next time One evening, gentlemen, it had been blow ing hard all day, and I had just ordered close-reefed topsails for the gale was increas ing, and there was a good deal of sea run ning, and it was coming to be wet; in short. I said to myself, as I called down the com panion-laddor for the boy to bring up my pea-jacket, 'we are going to have a dirty night.' The pig was Slipping and tumbling about the decks, for the ship lay over so much with tho breeze, being close haul ed, that he could not keep his hoofs. At last he thought he would go and secure his berth for the night, though it wanted a good bit of dusk. But lo and behold! Toby had been of the same mind, and there was safely housed. 'Umph, umphl' says piggy, as he turned and looked up at the black sky to windward; but Toby did not effer to move, At last the pig seemed to give it up and took a turn or two as if he was making up his mind which was the warmest corner. Presently he trudges off to the loc scupper!, where the tin plate Was lying that they ate their old potatoes off. Tig takes up the plate in his mouth, and carrier it to a part of the deck where the dog could sec it, but someway from the kennel; then. turning his tail toward tho dog, he begins to act as if he was eating out of the plate, making it rattle; and munching with his mouth pretty loud. 'What!' 'has piggy got victuals there?' and he pricked up his caw, and looked out toward the place, making a little whining. 'Champ champ!' goes the pig, taking not the least notice of the dog. and goes down his mouth to the plate again. Toby couldn't stand that any lonqor, vic tuals, and he not there. Out he run, and comes up in front ofthe pig, with his mouth watering, and pushes hifrcold nose intojthc empty plate. Likea8hot.gcntlerncn,thepig turned tail, and was snug in the kennel before Toby well knew whether there was any meat or not iu the plate." Love in a Cottage. A cottage, poetically speaking, is a small but picturcsqe domicile embowered in roses and located "near a wood" adapted to the accommodation of three individuals a gentleman, his wife, and a little boy with a bow and arrows and wings. Poesy assumes that a bridegroom who "no revenue hath" may live in a state of cxtactic bliss with a dowerlcss bride in such residence. Subsistanco is a secondary consideration. Bread and cheese and kisses arc all sufficient, and in the absence of the grosser items, tho epicurean pabulum last mentioned is of itself excellentlove-in-a-cottage fare. What cares Cupid for cates cates with a C we mean, for katcs with a K are a different matter. He laughs harder as well as locksmiths to scorn. He fancies, and like his billious brother Jealousy, grows by what he feeds on. Such at least is sentimental notion of that spooney little divinity, as tho quest of a cottage tenanted by a cashless pair. But sober Prose a bluff fellow that delights throwing cold water on tho beautiful and the tender suggests that impecunious couples, who hope to retain Love as a permanent lodger, had better look to their windows out of ono of which if nothing for dinner comes in at the door, he is apt to fly. Any one who has seen a portrait of the boy, and noted bis chubbi-ncssof outline, must know of course that ho is no chamclion, to live on air. From a cottage where there is nothing to eat, and more sentiment than industry and energy, he is sure to make off at the first opportunity in search of cosier quarters some shanty perhaps where the vulgar garden grows cabbages and potatoes, and the interior atmosphere ha-i an appetizing flavor of beefsteak and onions. Thero can be no doubt that "bettei is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith;" but when it is all herbs and no ox the year round, disgust not ha- tre d W'll be very likely to take love's place at the board. Upon the wholo therefore, substantial and permanent "wedded bliss" is scarcely to be hoped for in a cottage where there is more play for tho imagination than the teeth. Taken Upon a Church. In a certain Dutch settlement, in the State of New Jersey, the dominie of the church have notice from tho desk that thoscwho wished to unite with the church should attend at tho parsonage on the fol lowing Wednesday afternoon, that he might examine them on a religious subjects before being received as members. "Hans, a simple, harmless fellow, with a soft heart and a head of the samo consistence, went and presented himself as a candidate for church membership, or, as he expressed, "to be taken in upon the church." ... . M . Tha dominie, suspicious ot Hanks knowledge in doctrinal matters; began his inquiries by asking him how many Gods there were ? Hans conntingon his fingeis, said! "The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob dat ish three, den there ish God dc Father, Ood de Son, aud God de Holy Ghost dat makes six; and maybe dare is some more, I don t rec olloct, so will call it eigh.t" "Hans," said tho dominie '-you will never do, yeu must go back and learn your catechism." Sn Itann. ereat fallen, and somewhat in dignant, sot off on his way back, Having nearly reached home, he mot his old acquaintance, Conrad on his way to bo cx trained, and asked him if he was a going to be taken in upon the church? Conrad saying that he was, Hans told him to stop fend he would let him know whether he would piss an examination, "Now," says Hans, "tell mo how many Gods there are ? "One," replied Conrad. "Then," says Hans, "yott may just turn back, you will never pass; I told the dom inie there were eight, and kt va$ not taU Mourning. Mr. Editor: To speak of a subject best according with silence, may I ask: Is it well for ladies to be clothed in black Under domestic bereavement? I am inclined to think it is not. The world is melancholy enough without this, and the strirk-. en heart is its own memento. Besides a piece of crape edging on a bonnet effects every necessary purpose. We have till a debt to pay to nature, to sin. and to God. May it be paid in humility, hope and trust! Re assured that all is not on this side of the'gr.'.ye. There is another and a bettor life; and friends beckon to us from the skies to come to thorn, when it shall be in the order of Providence to do so; and in the mean time our communion with them is sweet. The writer of thu 'ranipiiihcr when his father, mother, four brothers and j ,0 luo ii'su't. three sisters were around him; but now. fori "Oh, I don't mean to insult you. I see many years, lie has been alone like a tree I ,1V your appearance that you are a gentle-in the midst of the forest which tho ax- jman. When I say you're a fool, 1 mean man has snared.' But he is not alone. b'u arc a fool for apologizing- to a woman No; there is memory, and faith, and the sorrow that is made gentle by the love and pity of the departed themselves. BELAPiIOUS. A lady friend cut this from some paper and sends it to us for insertion, as containing sensible ideas upon the subject of external mourning for the dead. We would not in the least degree wound the feelings of those who, through force of a long custom, or through education, have come to believe mourning weeds not only proper but an absence of them an actual disregard of the dead, yet all sensible people will admit that extravagance in mourning weeds is a prominent American weakness. It is well and proper, and consonant with the feelings of very many, to wear some badge of grief for a near friend dead, and moreover, it advertises (we use the word not in irony) the bereavement and reminds acquaintances of the fact, and thus adapts the interchange of social courtesies to the facts in tho esse. But this heaping upon one's self n mountain of black mid-summer or n.id-wintcr-either makes the mourner an ever present funeral or a fashionable hypocrite. And the world has noted that those wearing the deepest black often have the shallowest grief. Across the Mountains. Little Eddy was five years old; but his mother made the sad mistake of keeping hira away from Christiain influences. She did not consider that a child's heart can not possibly be kept unsown; if good seed"! be not early sown there, evil seed will be, spite of the most fond and jcaloua care. But his mother did not think so, and her little son had never been told much of heaven, nor of Christ, n r of his need of Jesus' love and pity and help. Her delu sive idea was, that when Eddy grew "old enough to understand such things," he would "able to stndy them with a fresh, unprejudiced mind." Ah, it is to be feared that, had Eddy lived, his mother might too late have discovered that it is a sad mistake to allow the firt years to pass without filling the child's heart with the simple teaching of its own sinful state, and ot tho love of Jesus. But Eddy was never to sec the period of manhood or of youth. As he languish ed on his bed, his mother saw him open wide his eyes, and gaze upward and forward in a very earnest and eager manner. "Mother," hesaid," what beautiful country is it that I see away beyond the mountains?""I see no mountains and no beautiful country' my dear child," replied the mother; but sho was awe-struck by the cxprss-ion of the littlo faee beft ro her. " Why, mother, it iethere," he said, looking upwards again; "so beautiful; and it is full of happy children that never are sick any more; Tell me; do tell me the name of that country." 'Is its namo heaven, my child?" said the tearful mother; "Yes; it is heaven. That is its flahie. I must go; but who will carry me across the mountains? Mother, father, will not you?" "Would you go nway from us, Eddy? what shall we do without our baby? Wait darling; do not cross the mountains now." But he kept pleading that they would carry him over. At lastt tired with his entreaties, he lay silent a little timet Then, flashing open his eyes, he Cried otit joyfully and in a clear, strong Voice," Father mother, don t yon ne afraid:, the tlrmg man hat tome to carry me over the moxm taint " Edrthly love unloosed its bands, for EdJy had crossed the mountains. A. ii. How do I expect to think, and feel, and act, in heaven? Let me try so to think, and feel and act on earth. Let heaven be gin with me below. He that cannot see God in a judgment, will never be truly humble; and he that cannot see God in mercy, cad never be trU' ly thankful. A Now Kind of Fool. A citizen walking up Chesiiut street the I. there a more exquisite1 pleasure in other day, trod upon thf flowing skirts of 1 this world of our. than what is found in x lady. The skirts were distemhd by the j giving comfort lo the sad? For this is most lavish circumference of orinoi'ii(-and,jii world of sorrow; a vale of tean. And trailed upon tho sidewalk at leapt four in- j he who tan go to the wounded leart with chef. The drapery was so voluminous at : w"r ''i ( consolation has a heavy power and any rate, that the wearer was some feet j a mission lhat angels might envy, distant from hor husband, beside whom 1'l"Te is no pleasure more exquisite in she was walking. ' our'? l'"'n 'B und in the as- Tho citizen trod upon the lady's skirts, tllat every sheet that goes from bringingher to a stand still. The citizen j Ii:ltls ? c".v words of peace to the apologized in the most humble manner, and Irouhled joy to tho miurner aud hope to the lady granted it. To his surprise, as j '' derail ing. the lady prssed on. the husband, turning! We wool with a gem of holy verse, or a short about, sa'd to the citizen: '"'I'M thought of come warm hearted au- 'You're a fool!" l'l"r' "r 3 diking incident in tho "Sir!" said the indignant and astonished 1 citizen, with an eve tout lun-lnxled a r.sent who wears trail skirts, because you accidentally tread upon them. That lady. sir. is my wife; I have to get my boots blackened four limes a day to walk with her, for fear of soiling her llounccs. The nc.it time you (read upon thorn, pray don't apol ogise for it. If you had torn the whole-trail off the dress I should have been pleased rather than otherwise." i "And you retract your offensive remark then?'' asked the citizen. 'In the sense you understood it. I do. of course. Should you again tread upon my wife's trail, and then apologize for it, I should feel very much like repeating the epithet." The citizen wended his way like a mou who has acquired a new wrinkle. I'hiln, North American. The Picket. When an army encamps in an enemy's country, soldiers, alone, or by twos or threes. I are thrown out in every direction, far and near, to keep a look-out and guard against surprise. These are called pickets. Une squad is stationed under an oak tree. A few hundred yards nearer or further, according to the dangcr( another squad is quartered in a cornfield. Further on, in the old mill ix another, fftill further, on at the edge of the thick wood, is another. And so on, until the lines of the army "arc carefully and completely guarded. Picket duty is hard and perilous. Rain or shine snow blow, heat or cold, all the same to tho faithful p'eket. He never flinches; and through the lonesome night all is quiet, I "Except now and then a stray picket Issllot,ashn walkson hisbeat to and fro. By a rifleman hid in the thicket;'-' For this often happens. But as weather docs not cow him, danger does not frighten him, nor must sleep overtake him. He must be wakeful, watchful, with eye open, ear open; ever ort his guard against sudden danger; ready to detect the least advance the most secret approach of the lurkingfoc, The safety of the army depends upon his vigilance. His rifle rouses the sleeping battalions "to arms, to arms'" Wo to the poor picket caught napping. To sleep at his post is to commit a crime whose pun ishment is nothing loss thai! to 'be shot.'1 Hard fate. But the duty is too weighty, the post too importcnt to bo trifled with, Everything depends upon his fidelity A Fable. Porlinirii nmp of voti i;ive read the liod- crn fable-as good as anything in JR sop. I think, although it is new The Sparrow and tho Eagle. One day the Sparrow went to the Eagle, and said unto him. "May it 1 j please voitr royalty. I notice that you fly away with kids and lambs, that never did irty harm to anybody. There is no creature in tho world so malignant as the cat: She prowls round our nests, Pats up our young, attd bite off otlr owil heady-. She feeds so daiiltly, ?he must be good eating bersc'A She islightcf to carry than ft kid, and then he would get a famous grip in her loose fur! Why dont you feed on cat? "Oh," replied the eagle "I had the worm here this morning1, who asked me, "Why durtt yoit feed on spnrr"W?" Is that a piei'e of worm's skin I see on your beak, tihild?" The sparrow cleaned her beak ort her feather?; and said, ' J should like to see the ! worm that asked voil the qilestiou." "Stund forth Worhl'said the dagle,whcn the worm appeared, the swallow snapped him up and then Went on with his argument agaitlrt catsi . ill M ,i Letters from the army in all directions declare in emphatie terms that the soldiers are fully up to the progress of the government, and willing to crush treason1 with any weapon ready to their hands. The ee-cesh among us who have been prophesying a large surren 'tf of ciramimion. and mutiny in tha array following" the measures abotiehin slavery are sure tob? diMp-pvti. ItH A ncart Comforter. 1 01''"1'1' 01 anouicr, or a simple anecdote1 that lias a blessing in it we seize it and ct ii here, and think of it on its rounds of mercy; lighting up this cottage, wanning this breast, making a smile of gladness on this cheek, and drying up tears in these eyes, and so going onward over the whole land, upon ltd errand of blessing. There is great power in words fitly spoken. It is a great gift to be able to speak with such tenderness, or with such power, as to be a minister of good to tho poor the weary and the suffering. It is a joy to proud man to be able to lean, rule and overcome; Lut there is uo joy in this world greater than to know we are do.'lig good. To be heart comforter in a world o wounded hearts, is a privilege to reconcile a man to a thousand ills, and make him willing to be anything for the sake of him who wept at the grave of a friend, and restored him to lowing sisters. An Editor. If an Editor omits anyihiug, he is lazy. If he speaks of things a they arc people get angry. If he glosses over or smooths down the points be is bribed. If he. calls things by their proper names, he is unfit for the position of an editor. If he docs not furnish bis readers with jokes, he is a mullet. If he does, he is a rattlehead, lacking stability. If he condemns the wrong, be is a good fellow, but lacks dis cretion. II lie lots wrongs and injuries go iinmcntioncd, he is a coward. If he exposes a publin man, he docs it to giatify spite is a tool of a cliquo or belongs to the "outs." If he indulges in personalities he is a blackguard, if he does not his paper is dull and insipid. A Salubrious Climate. A Yankee speculator, who had iminnsc tracts of land for sale in tho Far West, used frequently to say, that a gentleman who W;j travelling there saw a very old man sitting at the door of a leg cabin, weeping bitterly. "My friend," inquired the gentleman, 'what ia the matler with you?" Why replied the old man, "daddy jist gave me an awful licking, cos I wouldn't rock gradaddy to sleep." The gentleman rode off, fully satisfied with the salubrity and healthiness of the district, to produce such unparalclled instances of lonjevitv. A Phenomenon. A scotch lecturer undertook to explain to a village audience the word phenomenon. "Maybe, ma freens, ye dinnaken what a phenomenon may be. Weel, then, a'll tell 'ce. Ye'vc seen a coo (cow) nue iloot. Weel, a coo's nao phenomenon. Ye've a' seen an apple-tree. Weel, an apple tree is nae a phenomenon. But gin , ., ... . .... ye sec the con gang up me appie iree, uu foremost, to pu' apples, that would be a j phenomenon." j Tviilch? Col. Leoiiidas Metcalfe, an unconditional Union man of Kentucky, and a slaveholder, closes a letter to . Kcntucklans, as follows: "fikrc had beai no Slavery there tronlti ftrtt't been no it-cr. Peaee and Slavery wiU r.it amalgamate. KentUckiant ivhkh trill you take." LEONID AS METCALF. Boy's, if you don't want to fall in love, keep away from muslin. You can no more play with those girls without losing your hearts, than you can ply with a gambler without losing your money. The heart' string" of a woman, like the tendrill of a vine.arc always reaching otitforDomething to cling to. The consequence is, before yon aro going you are grme, like a lot at an auction. -,, i ' Religion is not a thing which spendsit-Elf- It is like a fiver which widens continually, and is never so hroad or to deep ; as at its mouth, where it rolls into the occu of eternity. y ' ' " ' yt. Godly sorrow issuch ree, without it not; a man shall be saved, and with it not a , man shall be damned. . Jf thy. hc.rl. le-not broken ia thee, thy guilt is not o.jktir f:?ahei. ,