Mt. Vernon Republican (Mount Vernon, Ohio : 1854), 1864-08-23

              I.I . I DEVOTED TO POLITICS, UTEKATUBE, THE MARKETS AND GENERAL INTELLIGENCE. VOL. X. MOUNT VERNON, OHIO. TUESDAY AUGUST 23, 186. NO tt w$tm ' "ty ' . . " : I ' r. m i. .. ' MOUNT VERNON KEPUBLICAN. , TKRMS OF BCUSCIUATlOtJ. flit monthi III aoraaoa, - - Ooiyea: la ad.anee, If sot paid Id adranca,... fl 00 . 3 00 .. ' TERU3 Or TSANSIENT ADVERTISING. One .qoaraflOlliiM,oiitlnatrtloii,. fl M Oaa iquara raoh lubLqnent Imertlon, M Oni .quart S month 100 Oaa aqoara 6 monthii too Oh .quire )! monthi :. 8 00 Two aqnarei 3 month.,... .w 6 00 Two iqaare 0 monthi, . 8 00 Twoiqutrci 12 monthi 12 00 Adrertlwmtntu o.ertwo aquaret to bo wntrttt.il for 1 and paid accordingly, or ehrged at adTertlilng ratea. j , , J.EOAl. ADVERTISEMENTS ' ', vrt!nMrtlnnli)llD . t. 1 00 tech sub.equent Tnwrtlon per iquare,.. 60 Attachmeat Notlcei before Jutlceind proof,... 2 00 Admlniitratoriand Encutara Notice. 2 00 BuhIoom Card., not eiceeding line" per annnm, 1 00 Notice, in Local column 10 Hum or lea, 100 No adnrtlument taken except for a peclled time, and no nprrlal notlco publlahed in any ran., union paid for, at the rat. of $1 00 for eierr ton lima, independent of the adverti.emeiit referred to.1 No adrartlilng done for A'lvertli'ing Agent, except for cull and prompt VJ- THE CARELESS WOKDS. ; f was bat a word, a careless word, Aa thistle dowu, it seemed bo light; It paused a momcut in the sir, . Then onward winged its needness flight Auother lip caught up the word; And breathed it with a haughty sueeri It gathered weight ns on it sped That careless word, in its careor. Then rumor caught Hie flying word, A busy gossip gave it weight, Until that little word becamo A vehicle of angry hate. And thn tliut word was winged with fire, Its mission was a thing of pain, For soon it fell like lava drops . Upon a wildly tortured brain. ind then another page of life, With burning, scalding tear was blurred. A load of care was heavier made-It added weight, that careless word. That careless word; O! how it scorched A fainting, bleeding, quivering heartl v Twus like a hungry fire that searched Through evory tender, vital part. How wildly throbbed that ochiug hoartl " Deep agony iu fountain stirred; It calmed, but bitter ashes mark The pathway of that careless word. A TOO CAREFUL HOUSEKEEPER. BY MRS. H. B. 8TOWE. She had a capital heart, a good, true, womanly one; and was loving and obliging; but still sho was ono of the dcs- pcrately painstaking, conscientious sort of women, whoso very blood, as they grow older, is devoured with anxiety, and f ho cam ef a race of women in whom housekeeping was more than art or science it was, so to speak a religion. Sophie's mother, aunts, and grandmothers, for nameless generations back, were ., known as celebrated housekeepers. ' ' They were indeed genuine descendants of the inhabitants of that Hollandic town of Brosck, celebrated by Washington Irving, where the ciw's tails are "kept tied up with Unsullied ribbons, and ' the ends of the firewood are painted white. Ho relates how a celebrated preacher, visitiug this town, found it impossible to draw these housewives irom their earthly views and employments, until he took to preaching on the neat. Bess of the celestial cities, the unsullied , crystal of its walls and the polish of its golden pavement, when the faces of all - the housewives were set Zionward at 'once. Now this solemn and earnest view of housekeeping is onerous enough when a poor girl enters on the oare of a mod- 0 erately furnished house, where the articles are not too expensive to be renewed as time and use wear them: but it is in- - finitely worse when a cataract of sp'en-t id furniture is heaped upon her care when splendid crystals cut into her conscience, and mirrors reflect her duties, and moth and rust stand, ever ready to devour and sully in eery room and pas- . .. sage way. .... .., , j Sophia was solemnly warned and in structed by all the mothers and aunts 'she was ' warned of moths, warned of cockroaches, warned of flies, warned of dust; all the articles of furniture had h their covers, made of Holland linen, in , which they looked like bodies laid out even the curtain tassels haJ each its'lit-. ' tie shroud and bundles of receipts and " of rites and ceremonies aecessary for the preservation, purification and care of all . these articles were stuffed into the poor girl's head, before guiltless cares, as the ft athers that floated above it. t . Poor Bill found, very soon that his e and furniture were kept 'at suoh an a P0'"' f perfection that he needed n 'ther bouse to live in for, poof fellow' ' k I found the difference between 1 having " '' hus8 and a home. It Was only. year oi i ' lw? aeri' WJ ife and I ctarted '' menage on very different principles, and Bill would often drop in upon us, wistfully lingering in the cozy arm chair between my writing table and my wife's sofa, and paying, with a s'gh, how confoundedly plrssnt things looked there so pleasant , to have a bright, open fire, and geraniums, rosos, and birds, and all that sort of thing, and duro to stretch out ono'sleg and move without thinking what one is going to hit. 'Sophie is a good girl,' ho would say, 'and wants to have every thing right, but you see they won't let her. They have loaded her with so many things that have to be kept in lavender, that the poor girl is actually getting thin and losing her health; and then, you see, there's Aunt Zeruoh, she mounts guard at our house, and keeps up such strict police regulations that h fellow can't do a thing. The parlors aro splendid, but so lorfesorae and dismal! not a ray of light, except when a visitor is calling, and they open a crack. They are afraid of flies, and yet, dear knows, they keep every looking glass ond picture frame muffled to its throat from March to De cember. I'd like, for curiosity, to see what a fly would do in our parlors!' 'Well,' said I, 'can't you have some little family sitting room, where you can make yourselves cozy?' 'Not a bit of it. Sophie and Aunt Zeruah have fixed their throne up in our bedroom, and they sit all daylong, except at calling hoprs, and then Sophie dresses herself and comes down. Aunt Zeruah insists on it, that the way is to put the whole house in order, and shut up the blinds, and sit in your bed-room, and then, she says, nothing gets out of place; and she tells poor Sophie the most hocus po?us stories about her grand mothers and aunts, who rlways kept everything in thoir houses so that they could go and lay their hands on it in the darkest night. I'll bet they could in our bouse. From end to end it is kept looking as if we had jhnt it up and gone toEu-rope-not a book, not a paper, not a glove, or any trace ot human being in sight. 'The piano shut tight' the book cases shut and locked. Why, it I want to take a fellow into the library, in the first place it smells lie a vault, and I have to un-barricade windows, and unlock and rummage for half an hour before I can get at anything; and I know Aunt Zeruah is standing tiptoe at the door, ready to whip everything back and lock it up again. A lellow can t uo social, er take any comfort in showing his books and pictures that way. Tlun there's our great, light dining room, with its sunny south windows Auut Zeruah got us out of that early in April, because she said the flics would speck the fresco and get into the China closot, and we have been eating in a little dingy den, with a window looking out on a back alley, ever since; ana Aunt .aruati says tliat now the dining room is in such perfect order, and that now it is such a care off Sophia's mind that I ought to be willing to eat down cellar to tho end of the chapter. Now, you see, Chris, my position is a delicate one, because Sophia's folks all agree, that, if there is anything in creaa tion that is ignorant and dreadful and must not be allowed bis way anywhere, it's a man.' 'Why, you'd think, to hear Aunt Ze rurati talk, that we were like bulls in a china shop, ready to toss, tear and rend, if we are not chained, and she worries Sophie, and Sophie's mother comes and worries, and if I try to get anything done diffireotly, Sophia cries and I give it up. . Now, if I want to ask a few of our set iu sociably to dinner, Icau'tbave them where we eat down cellar oh, that would never do.' Aunt Zerurah and Sophia's mother and the whole family would think the family honor was forevermore ruined and, undone. We must not ask them, unless we open the dining room, and have out all the. best china, and get the silver home from the bank, and if we do that, Aunt Zerurah 008cu't sleep for a week beforehand, getting ready for'it, and for a week after, getting things put away; and then she tells me, that in Sophie's delicate state, it is really abominable for me to increase her cares, and to I invite fellows to dine with me at Delmonico's, and then Sophie cries, and Sophie's mother says it dosen't look respectable for a family man to be dining at public places; but, hang , it, a fellow Wants a home somewhere!' Immortality op Goodness. There is nothing, no, nothing innocent or good that dies and is forgotten, let us hold to thai faith or none.. , An infant, a prattling child, dying in its cradle, will live again in the bettor thoughts of those who loved, it, aud play its part, through them, is tha redeeming actions of the world, though its body be .burned to ashes or drowned In the deepest sea. . There is dot an angel added to the host of heaven but does its blessed work,, on ... earth to those that loved it here, ., Forgotten! 0, if good deeds of .human, creatures could be traced to thoir Bource, bow , beautiful would even death ippear, for how much charity, mercy,' and purified affection would btf seen to have their growth in dasty graves. ' '' - ' ' " ' 1 Mr. Nasi)- Utilities his Position and Appeal? ror aid: CUI'RCU UV TUB NOO DlSPKXSASHE.V, Gooly 3d, 1664. The Iothdist,Presbyterean, Lutheran and other betrodex churehis air today, the most hefty obsttkklos in the path uv, the Dimocrisy, and to successfully oppose em, I institutootid tho Church uv the Noo Dispensashet uv which I am Paster uv sed Church in charge. Wat the Dimocrisy now want is Church extension, henta this appgle: ' Dimocrisy is bilt upon the one ijee that the nigger is a babboon That's corner-stan knock it out and the entire fabric tnmbles. The hetrodox shurchis insist that the niggers is human, an 1 that he licz a sole 2 saiv and fit it fcr the skize. This doc-rin, ef it pervades, nox dimocrisy higher ncr a kite. Fer why? Beknz. Efthe nigger's human, and not a becst, wher's slaivry? Ekko ansfrs, no whair. Bckoz. The commandment sez thow shelt not steel et settry. Ef the nigger's a man we steel wen we taik his labor. Ef he'B a ooest wy tnen we nov aiminyun over him, and mcy use him ez we do the pa- shent ox. The pint is plane. The Church uv the Noo Dispcnsashun, uv which I am pastor uv sod Church in charge, devotes its entire intellek to con" strooin the skripters in akordence with the dimokratik ijee. Sum uv our brothren who still hev Methdist and Presbyterin 8ooperstishuns in2 em. appollygize fer their support uv the grate instooshn, by insisiin that they bring the Afrikin over 2 this country for the purpis uv chrischenizin u" him. Away withsich noncents! I'll nun uv it. Is it chrischenlike 2 ceeso a man in his nativ land and bring him 2 a furrin shoar agine his will? Agin. Ef thats evange-likle, is it proper 2 maik the forsibly evangelized heethen work fer his bord and wun soot uv cheep cloze per annum, continooaly bcin perswadid to renood effort by the cato-nine tales? ' Ther is grate gane in sich, God'.inis at leest 500 per sent. Most enny body will go in2 tho mishnory biznis oa them terms 1, well cz I am, kin bare sich a cross. Be sides when yoo'vo got a cargo convertid, yhw don't yoo scud em back? Postest thow desire 2 convert their children? 0 mizable subterfooj! Ef the parieDeo wuz convertid woodent the child red be? Ef that's yer ijee what do ye sell cm ' fer? Hev yoo took a morgije ou2tm fcr ex-pcusis incurd in bringin uv em hear, and hev yoo the power uv 4closin ? Bosh 1 (A expreshun uv disgust.) Ef thcy'r human they hev a warranty deed fcr their boddis and soles, the saim ez we hev. IlenU, ez slaivry is nessary 2 the dimocratio party, we must defend it on solid ground. Ther4 my Church, uv wicb I am sed paster, in charge, strikes out boldly, and leeches that tho nigger is a BABBOON, a becst. Wen wild hese enny boddy's property that capchcts and tames him, aft ir wicb him and his young is absloote-ly his, to do with as seemcth good in his site. Blakstun. Troo, amalgamashcn, which alluz ap-peres to bo practist wher the instooshn exists, is agin us, fer wen a slaiv hez a man fei a father heze only half babboon. But I never seed enny dimocratik prinsip plo that bedn't a week pint in it. Wewantmunny to establish our church We must send mihnaries to Northrin Illinnoy, to the Western Reserve, and 2 Massychusitfs. It taiks munny fer our preechers to live now, fer whisky is 10 sents per drink even in the most obskoor doggrys. Men and bretbrin kum' 2 our ade. ' ;'' ' We bev no lack uv labrers in this grate vinyard. Evry ycre the uthcr chnrchis expel moar or less uv their preechers, fcr irregelartis in swappin bosses, and fcr extreme conwiviality and sich, whp er willin to be reseevd in2 our buzm. They air reddy all we want is menes to sit em aflote. Bemittencis uv 10 cents and upwards thankfly resevd. I'm President, Secretary, Treasurer and Bord uv Trustees uv the Associashen. Remit librally to wun:t The high karioter uv the oflishary is suf-flshent garantee that the munny ' will be probably applide. : ' ' 1 PETROLKUM V; NA8BY. ' ' ' Paster uv sed church in charge. 8odiersLoviPets ihCamp. Here are two stories from a Washington paper: . ''The oddest pets we have yet seen were two bears, which he Twelfth Main egiment, of the Nineteenth corps, led ihrough tha city recently. ' These bears were brought all the way from Louisiana. nd have been in several fights. They have become perfeotly tame and tractable nd march along at tho head ot the band with' an air that indicates they feel them selves veteran soldiers of the bruin order ana mat tbey have a character to sustain1. "A regiment that passed through some days S0 had with it a mountain goat, captured also in Louisana, and which havo been in several buttles and skirmishes. In ono of the latter he was ser iously woundod, but by careful nursing ho got woll. Mr. Nasby lias a Church Trial. Church uv the New Dispcnsashum. 1 had a Church trial yesterday, which was interestin, involvin ez it did a nice question. For the benfit uv the other branches uv the Dimercratio Zion I givo the pints. Bro. Siinpls wsz arranend before the church on a charge uv drinking with a nigger Bro. Podhammer bringin the charge. Bro. Jons was examined. Saw Bro. Simples go into "Union as it wuz saloon," arm in arm with a nigger. Caw them go up to tho bar and drink whiskey to gcther. Elder Pott, Deacon Kit and Bro. Smith, and also Bro. Brown, who keeps the saloon, and wuz playing a quiet game ef 'seven up,' corroborated Bro. Jons testimony. They seed it. Tho reched man had nothir. whatever to say, nnd cz the case wuz clear, I wuz abowt to pronounce centens uv excummunishen agin him, when a thot struk mo. "Who paid for the licker?" askt I, lookin joodishl. "The niggcr,uv coarse,'' said bro Simples. "Brethern," sed I, "this fact puts a new face upon the matter. The nigger my brutneriu, was maide ter the yoose uv the white man and fer no uther pur puss. ("Cussed be Canun," "Servcnce, obay your mas'crs," et se try." In the suthern staits, wher the Dimocrioy rool that is thar normal condishen, but up here a mizerablo fanattacysm prevence us frum redoosin em to tharo rightful stait What she! we do? Planely, git "11 we kin out them It wuz edsackly right fur bruther Simples that he should havo the nigger pay fur his whiskey, I wood do it myself. Ther is but one dark feccher in it. If you walk arm-in-arm with another, it is a confeshun uv frend-ihip and equality. Why did you do this, bruther Simples?" . " "I played 'seven up' fer tho drinks, with him, and bete him. I wuz afecred bo would slip orf aud wuz holdin on to him." "Right bro. Simplos,riglit " "When )on got a white cat, aare liira, aire him. When yoo get a black cat, Kliare lilm to the tail." Case dismist. Tho church sustained the decision, and all av cm started out imcjetly in search uv a nigger. Petroleum V. Nasby, Paster uv said Church in charge. A PLEASING INCIDENT. A correspondent of the Bangor Wig relates the following inoident which recently came under his observation: On the stage were sovrn or eight soldiers from the eighth Maino regiment-civil, well-behaved, intelligent men, ns was apparent from their conversation. While at the stage office in Lincoln, there came into the stago ofEco a poor old blind man, stone blind, slowly feeling his way with his cane. - He approached the soldiers and said in gentlo tones: 'Boys, I hear you belong to the eighth regiment. I nave a son in that regiment.""What is his name?" "John- ." "0 yes, we know him well. He was a Sergeant in eur company; we always liked him. He is now a Lieutenant in a colored regiment, and a prisoner in Charlston." ' For a moment the old man ventured not to reply, but at last slowly and sadly he said: ' I feared as iruch. I have not heard from him for . long time." Without Waiting for another word, the soldiers took irom their wallets a sum of money amounting to twenty dollars, and saying at the same time: "If we had our money here we would give you a hundred dollars." ' The old man replied: "Boys, you must put it in my wallet for me, for I am blind." But mark what followed. ' ' Another individual iu the room, who had looked on the scene as I had, with fedlings of pride in our citizen soldiers, idvanced and said. 1 '' ' "Boys, this is a handsome' tling, and I want you to drink Tvith me. I stand treat for the company." I waited with Interest for the reply.' It cime: ' 'No, Bir, we thank you. j W appreciate yoUr offet, but we never drink!" The scene was perfect the first act was noble, was generous; the last was grind. :,; i , Katliif When Sick. It is tbe custom among certain clafees of people to, when a member of tha faui, ly is sick, to begin at once to ask: 'Ntw do you want to eat? Every man bUs heard tho old story of the man who ie eightoon dumplings when be was lick. On one occasion when he w sngsgd upon the eighteenth, his little son said: 'Pa, give me a piece? 'No, no, my son,' replied the father, 'go away; pa's sick.' When a young man has been Burfeited, in snason aud out of season, until exhausted naturo givos way, and fever is coming on, the goodmothor is in trouble. She anxiously inquires, 'Now, John, what can you eat? You must oat some thing. People can't live without food.' Thon comes the toast and tea, etc. Tbe stomaoh is exhausted, and ns more needs stimulating food than tbe jaded horse needs the whip. What is needed, is rest, complete rest. Nine-tenths of the acuie ureases mignt do prevented bv a few days starvation, when the indications appear. I don't mean complete abstl nenco in every case, but perhaps a piece of cold bread, with cold water for drink If Huch a policy were gradually adopted what ruiu would overtake the medical profession. Dr. Dio Lewi. Hints for Ilard Times. Credit never permits a man to know tho real value of m.mey, or to have full control over his affairs. It presents all his expenses in the aggregate and not in detail. Evory ono bos more oi less of the miser's love of money of the actual gold piece and the crisp bank notes. Now, if you have these things in your pockets, you see them, as you make your pur chases, visibly diminishing under our eyo. The lessening heap cries to you to ?top. You wouli like to buy this, that and the other; but you know exactly how much money you have left, and if you go on buying more .hings your purse will soon be empty. You do not see this when you take credit. You givo your orders freely, without thought or circulation; and when the day of payment comes, you find that you have overrun the constable On every hand we see people living on credit, putting off pay day to the last, making in tho cud some desperato effort, cither by begging or borrowing, to scrape the money together, and then struggling on again, with the canker of care eating ad the heart, to the inevitable goal of bank. ruptcy. If people would only make a push at the beginning, instead of the end, they would save themselves all this mi eery. The great secret of being solvent, and well to-do, and comfortablo, is to got ahead of your expenses. Eat and drink this month what you earned lust month; not what yoa are going to earn this month There are, no doubt, many persons so un. fortunately Bituated that they can never accomplish this. No man can guard against ill health; no man can insure himself a well conduc tod helpful family, or a perament income. There will always be people who cannot help their misfortunes. But, as a rule, these misfortunes are far loss trouble to society than those in a better position who bring their misfortunes upon them. selves by deliberate recklessness and ex. travagance. You may help a poor, hon est, struggling man to some purpose. But the utmost you can do for an unthrif t is thrown away. You give him money you have earned by hard labor he abends it in pleasure which you have never permitted yourself to enjoy. r The best pleasure, those which sweeten life most, and leave nc bitterness behind, are cheap pleasures. What great pleasure can man enjoy than the sense of being free and independent? The man with his fine house, his glittoring carriage, and his rioh banquots, for which he is in debt, is a slave, a prisoner, forever dragging his claims behind him through all the grandeur of the false world through which he nuves. I will go out this morning, with tho consciousness that I owe no man anything, that even the bright day is earned and paid for, and I will walk to Highgate, and, brine; weary, hungry, and athirst, I will enter a wayside inn and feast upon bread and cheese, washing it down with a mug of ale, and there will be no pleasure superior to mine in all Christendcm. All tht Year Round. ot mm Nearly all the butternut papers in the Slate are putting on the airs of in jured innocence and telling about threata of their destruction by mobs! Bah! The pretense is too transparent they cannot make anything on that lay and better change their course. - ' 1 ' They better reserve their conrago and fall to teaching their dnpes,whom they have led to an attitude' of hostility to the executions of the conscription law, to the arrest of dessr-ters, Ac, that the law will be enforced ftod the constituted authorities will be obeyed, instead of still further stimulating them tc resistance by the false and unfounded pretense that their, offices aro threatened . with mob violence. Sanfivglty Rtgitter. Purity or Character. Ovor the beauty of the plum and tbe apricot there grows a bloom and a beauty rucro exquisite than the fruit itself a soft, delicate flush that overspreads its blushing cheek. Now, if you strike your hand over that, and it is one. The flow er that hangs in the morning, impearled with dew, arrayed as no queenly woman ever was arrayed with jewels, once shake it so that the heads roll off, and you may sprinkle water over it as you please, yet it will never be made again what it was when the dew fell silently on it from heaven. On a frosty morning you may see panes of glass covered with landscapes mountains, lakes, trees, blended in a beautiful, fantastio picture. Now lay 1 J Al 1 1 your nana upon ino glass, and by a soratch of your finger, or by the warmth of your palm, all tho delioato tracery will be obliterated. So thcro is in youth beauty and purity of character, which when once touched and defiled, can nev er be restored; a fringe more delicate than frostwork, and which when torn and bra ken, will never be ro-embroidered. He who has spotted and spoiled his garments in youth, though he may seek to make them white again, can never wholly do it, even were he to wash thorn with his tears, When a young man leaves his father's house with the blessings of a mother's tears still wet upon his brow, if he at once lose that early purity of character. it is a lofra that he can never make whoie again. Such is the consequence of crime Its effects cannot be eradicated; it cau only be forgiven. Raw Hide, How few persons know the value of raw hides 1 It seems almost strange to see them sell all their "deacon' skins for the small sum of thirty or forty cents. Tako a strip of well tanned raw hide an inch wide and a horse can hardly break it by pulling back two of them he cannot break any way. Cut it into narrow strips and tako the hair off with a sharp knife, to use for bag stringe,these strings outlast two sets of bass. Farmers know how perplexing it is to lend bags, and have them returned minus strings. It will outlast hoop iron (common) in any shape, and is stronger. It is ' good to wrap around a brokrn thill better than iron. Two sets of raw hide halters will last a man's life time if ha don't live too long. In some places, the Spaniards use raw hide log chains to work their cattle with, cut iuto narrow strips and twisted together, hawser fashion. It can be tan nod so that it will be soft and pliable, liko harness leather. Froverbt by Joilma 1511 Hug. Don't swap with your relashuns unless yu ken afford to giv em the big end of tbe traid. Marry yung, and, if circumstances re quire it, often. ' - If you can't git fine clothes, and edui- cation too, git the cloths fust. Say how are you, to every body. Kultivate modesty, but mind and havo a good stock of impudence on hand. Be charitable three-ecnt pieces Were made on purpose. Don't taik ennybody's advice except yoor own. It costs more to borrow than it does to buy. If a man flatters yu, ye can kalkilate he is a roag or fule. Keap boa th eyes open, but don't say more'n haff you nose. Don't nurtify the flesh too much; twusn't the sores on Lasures that seDt him to hsaven. Ef yoo itch for faim, go into a gravo- yard and scratch yourself agin a tumc- stun. Yung mon, be more anxious about tho pedigree yure going to leave, than yu ar about the one sum body left yoo. I would say to all young men, "Go in'' and to old fellers, "Git out." A good way to get ritch is to run in debt two hundred thousand dollars, and then go to work and pay your debts. Filosophers tell us the world revolves on itnaxis, and Josh Billings tells yoo that full half tbe folk on airth, think they are the axis.' , X. B. These proverbs havs stood a hundred years, and hain't gin out yet. PriDi!. We have often heard a lalf grown-up boy say pettishly to his moth. er: "I don't like to be seen carrvinir a big bundle through the streets," But true pride is aihamed of such littleness of mind, Mr. Astor the millionaire of New York, was reluctant to soil goods to young man except for cash. The mer chant paid for them, and took them on his shoulder to carry them cut of the store. ? Mr. Astor looked surprised; but beforo tbe merchant bad gone many iteps, be culled him back saying: "Yon may buy on credit to any rmonnt; I can trust you, sir. A man who is lot aaha-mod to do lis Own work, is sure to sue-ceo:" Here is another good leon fif f!s pride. the world are you going to do with two thousand pigs?" f ' "Understand mi, madam; I don't thay two thothand' pigtb, but thowth and pigth." "I hear yon! Twothoiisana pig' for' one family! This man is certainly crazy."' . "Mitheth Young, I toll you again I don't mean two thouthand pigth; but thowth and two pigth.". ; ;; "Oh oh-Mr. Fisher, that's what' you mean. Certainly my pen' is at' you service, neighbor." A TREE HEWN BY BVLtETsV ' ' 'Most people,' says the Richmond En quirer, 'have doubted the literal accura cy of the dispatch concerning tbe battle of Spottsylvania, which alledged the' trees were cut down under the concentrated fire of minriie balls. We doubted the literal fact ourselves, and ' would doubt it still but for the ; indisputable testimony of Dr. Charles Macgill an eyo witness of the battle. The ireo stood iu the rear of our breast-works, at a point upon which at one time, the most murderous musketry fire that ever was heard of, was directed. The tree fell inside our works, and injured several of our men. After the battle, Dr. Mao gill measured the trunk, and found it 22 inches through and 61 inches in circumference, actually hacked through by the awful avalanoh of bullets packing against it. Ihe iohage of the tree was trimmed away as effectually as though an army of locusts had awarmed in its branches. A grass-hopper could not have lived through the pelting of that leaden storm, and but for the fkot that our troops were protected by breastworks, they would have been swept to a man. : 1 Pat's Idea or Stock. Pat Donahue was a "broth of a boy," from the "Gem of the Say," and he had a small contract on the Cornway Railroad, in New Hampshire, in the year of grace, 1855, in which he agreed to take his pay part In cash, part in bonds and part in stock. The stock of this road, be it remembered like many others was not worth a "Continental," and has always kept up ts value with remarkable uniformity. In due time, Pat, having completed his job,' presented himself at the treasurer's office for settlement. The money, i the bonds, and the certificate of stock were soon in his possession. "And what is this, now?" said Pat flourishing his certificate of stock, bear ing the "broad seal" of the corporation. "This is your stock, sir,' blandly re- pticd the treasurer. And is that what I am to get for my labor? Wasn't the contract for sthock?' "Why, certainly; that is your stock. What did you expect.' "What did I expect?" said Pat exci tedly: 'what did I expect? Why pigs, and shape, and horses, shurel" Wit What a dull, podding, tramping, clank ing world the ordinary intercourse of so lely would be without wit to enliven and brighten it! When two men meet they meet to be kept at bay through ;the enstrang. ing effuots ot absenoe, until some sportive sally opens their heart to each others Nor does anything spread cheerfulness so rapidly over a whole party or an assem blage of people, howevor, large, , Reason expands the soul of the philosopher; imagination glorifies the poet, and breathes a breath of spring through the young and genial; but if we take into account the numberless glances and gleams whereby wit enlightens our every-day, hardly any power ministers so bountifully to the In' nocent pleasures of mankind, l '' ' We jump at a chance to agree with the New York Herald. It says: "if Bon Wood had published his News in Richmond, and had written of Jeff. Davis as he has of President Lincoln,1 be' would have been hung long ago. ' The fact that be still li7es, Btill writes, still cries' for peace, still opposes the war, still mourns over Union successes, and still tries to stop volunteering, confutes and contradicts all histalderdash about Nortbernespo-' turn." "Did he not make several visits' after' the patient was out of danger?'' was the" question of a lawyer in crosa-examination of a witress calltd, to prove a doctor's bill, in one of our court, a few day ogo.-"No," replied the witness, "I thought the patient was in danger is long u he continued his Visits." i , ,,3 r. -. .' Two Thouthand Piom--The Pittsburg Chronicle has a comical story about a man who had a peculiar K.'p, and bad bought sotaO swlno, srpliod to a tiriglf bor for the loan ef a pig-pon , when the following eonverflatiott ensuedf ' ! "Mitheth Yourg, I have boftgfit w thowlbt and pigth,- and wafit to pnt lV-" inyourpflu till to-morrow." : ' i "Why Mr. Tipnsr, V)J f.n ':? hold a twentieth pH of tl'.--; ' '-i