Mt. Vernon Republican (Mount Vernon, Ohio : 1854), 1855-12-04

              : Lis- h 4 flMfe A a ' OFFICE South-west end ) Kremlio Block, 2d Floor, f "IF A FREE THOUGHT SEEK EXPRESSION, SPEAK IT BOLDLY SPEAK IT All" ( TEBWS-t2 00 per Anntm, if pai4 In Advance. , MOUNT VERNON, OHIO, TUESDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 4, 1855. 3N0.3. VOL.11, ' i ri ra t -X" Wf IWJIiU JF1L-IU MIUJAV.IM THE MOUNT VERSOS BEPl'BLICAS IS FUDLISIIKD EVERY TUESDAY MORNING, SITUS "Republican Printing Company,' Incorporated underthe General Law. TERMS. In Advaticn $2,00; within nix months, t2,25; aftor tho expiration of nix month, 2,51); after the end of the year, 3 00, Subscribers in town, receiving their papers by carrier, will be charged 12 cents addi-tional.Oiubsoften, $1,75 to be pawl invariably iu advance. ... . . , AH communications for the paper and business lotters should be addressed to WM. H. COCHRAN, Secretary of the Republican Printing Co, M0VK ON! T he march of life would never slay, All things should onward tend ; Man should not clog progression's way, But strive to move and mend , Tim waters move in depth of ocean, The stream along the dales. And rivulets, with onward motion, Through streets and verdant valos Hove on I The clouds move gently through tho sky, The earth rolls ever on ; Tiiuu, swiftly, in its course, runs by, And years run one by one. Men, too, should strive to follow them, In this their onward way, Permitting naught the tide to stem, Cut ever day by day, Move ou I Men may be wiser, if they strive More virtuous, if they will ; And who, within this world would thrive, Must aim at higher still I Let bigots stand by doctrines old, The wiHe will pass them by ; Weak minds may cling w ith subtle hold, 13ut strong ones valiantly Move on I Like waters rolling to the ocean, Down mountains piled on high-Like clouds forever in commotion, That move across the sky Will we, forever onward press. Thus fetterless and fri-o ; And deeming happiness, Our watchword ever be, Movo on 1 feint ffiistfllonij. TRIALS OF A J0USEKEEPEB. BV HARRIET BEECH EU STOWS. I have a detail of very homely grievances to present, but such as they are, ma ny a heart will feel them to be heavy, the trial of a housekeeper. " Poll ! " soys one of the lords of creation, taking his cigar out of his mou'h, and twirling it between his two first fingers, "what a fuss these women do make of this simple duty of managing a family. I can't see for my life, as there is anyihing so ex traordiniiry in the matter of housekeeping only three meals a day to be got and clear-ed off, and it really seems to take up the whole -of their mind from morning till night. I could keep house without so much of a flurry." Now, prithee, good brother listen to my story, and see how much you know about it. I came to this enlightened West about a year since, nnd was duly established in a comforiable country residence, within a mile and a half of the city, and there com menced the enjoyment of domestic felicity. I had been married about three months, and had been previously in love, in the most approved romantio way, with all the proprieties of moonlight wiks, serenades, sentimental billet doux and everlasting attachment. After having been allowed, as I said, about three months to get ov r this sort of thing and prepare for realities, I was located for life, as aforesaid. My family consisted of myself and husband, a female friend as a visitor, and two broth ers of my good man, who were engaged with him in business. I pass over the two or three first days, spent in the process of hammering boxes, breaking crockery, knocking things down and picking them up again, which is commonly called gel-ting to housekeeping. As usual, carpets were sewed and stretohed, laid down and taken up to be sewed again, things were formed and reformed, transformed and conformed, till at last a settled order began to appear. But now came up the great point of all. During our confusion we had oooked and eaten our meals in a very miscellaneous and pastorial manner, eating now from the top of a barrel and now from a fire-board laid on two chairs, and drinking some from teacups, and some from saucers, and some from a pitcher big enough to be drowned in ; and sleeping some on sofas, and some on straggling beds and mattrass-es thrown down here and there, wherever there is room. All these pleasant barbarities wero now at an end. The house was in order the dishes put up in their places, three regular meals were to be administered in one day, all in orderly, civilized form, beds were to be made, rooms swept and dusted, dishes washed, knives scoured and all the etcetera attended to. Now for getting 'help' as Mrs. Trollope says : and where and how are wo to get it. We knew very few persons in the city, and how were we to accomplish this matter ? At leng'h the 'house of employment' was mentioned, and my busband was dispatched thiiher regularly every day for weeks, while I in the mean time, was very near dispatched by the abundanoe of work at home, At length one evening, as I was sitting completely exhausted, thinking of resorting to the last leminine expedient for life, viz : a a good fit of crying, my husband made his appearance, with a most triumphant air, at the door. "There Margaret, I have got yon a couple at last, cook and chambermaid," . 8o saying he flourished open the door and gave to my view (he picture of a little dry, snuffy looking old woman, and a gnat staring Dutch girl, in a green bonnet with rbd ribbons with mouth wide open, and hands and feet that would have made a Greek sculptor open his month too. I sd dressed forwith a few words of encouragement to each of this uncultivated looking couple, and proceeded to ask their mimes, and forth with the old woman began to snuffle nnd wipe her face with what was left of an old, silk pocket handkerchief preparatory to speaking, while the young lady opened her mouth wider, and looked around with a frightened air, as if meditating an escape. After some preliminaries, however, I found out that my old woman was Mrs. Tibbins, Hebe's name was Kot-terin ; also, that she knew muoh more Du ch than English, and not any loo much of either. The old lady was the cook. I ventured a few enquiries 1 "Hud she ever cooked ? " "Yes, mam, sartin, she had lived at two or three places in the oily." "I suspect, my dear," said my husband confidently, "that she is an experienced cook, and so your troubles are over," and he went to reading the newspaper. I said no more, but determined to wait till morning. The breakfast to be suie did nut do much honor to the talents of my official, but it was the first time, and the place was new to her. Alter breakfast was cleared away, I proceeded to give her directions for dinner, it was merely a plain joint of meat, I said, to be roasted in the tin oven. The experienced cook looked with a stare of cmire vacuity. "The tin oven," I repeated "stands there" pointing to it. She walsed up to it, and touched it with buch an appearance of suspicion, as if it had been an electric batlery, and then looked around at me with such a look of helpless ignorance, that my soul was moved "I never saw one of them things before,' said she. "Never saw a tin oven ! " I excliamed. "I thought you said you had cooked in two or tline iamilies. "They does not have such things as them, though, rejoined my old lady Nothing was to be done of course but to instruct her into the philosophy of the case, and having spitted the joint, and giv- en numberless directions, I walked off tol my room, to superintend the operations-Of Kotterin, to whom I had committed the'' making of my bed, and the sweeping of my room, it never having come into my head that there could be a wrong way of making a bed and to this day it is a marvel to me how any one. could arrange pillows, and quilts to maJte such a nondescript appearance as.mirfe now presented. One glance showedme that she was just 'caught' and snowetu lh1ii ad as much to do in her depart ure as in that of my old lady. J ust then the door bell rang. "O, there is the door bell," I exclaimed "Bun, Kotterin and show them into the parlor." Kotterin started to run as directed, and then stopped and stood looking round on all the (lours, and on me, with a wofulh puzzled air. " Tho street door," said I, pointing towards the entry. Kotterin blundered into the entry, and stood gazing with a look of stupid wonder at the bell ringing without nanus, while 1 went to the door and lot in the company, before she could be fairly made to understand the connection between the ringing and the phenomenon of admission. As dinner time approached I sent word in to my kitchen to have it set on, but recollecting the state of the heads of the department there, I coon fullowed my owu orders. I found the tin oven standing out in the middle of the kitchen, and my cook seated a la Turk in front of it, contemplating the roast meat, with full as puzzled an air as in the morning. I once more explained tho mistery of taking it off, assisted her to get it on to the platter, though somewhat cooled by having been so long set out for inspection. 1 was standing holding the spit in one hand, when Kotterin, who had heard the dour bell ring, and was dett mined this time to be in season ran into the hall, and soon re turning, opened the kitchen door, and po litely ushered in three or four very lash ionable looking ladies, exclaiming ; " Here she is." As these were strangers from the city, who had come to make their first call, this introduction was far from proving an eligible one ; the look of thunderstruck astonishment wi'.h which I greeted their first appearance, as I stood brandishing the spit, nnd the tern bed snutbng and starting of poor Mrs. Tibbins, who again had recourse to her old pocket handker chief, almost entirely vanquished their gravity, and it was evident that they were on the point of a broad laugh, so recover ing my self-possession, I apologized, and led the way to the panor. Let these few incidents be a specimen of the four mortal weeks that I spent with these " helps" during which time 1 did almost as much work, with twice as much anxiety as when there was nobody here , and yet every thing went wrong besides. The young gentlemen oomplnined of the patches ol starch grimed to their collars and tho streaks of black coal ironed into their dick ies, while one week every pocket handker chief in the bouse was staiohed so stiff that you might as well haveoarried an earthen plate in your pocket; the tumblers looked muddy, "the plutcs were never washed clean or wiped dry, unless I a' tended to each one, and as to eating and drinking, we experienced a variety that wo had not before considered possible. At length the old woman vanished from the stage, and was succeeded by a knowing, active damsel with a temper like a steel trap, who remained with me just one week, and then went off in a fit of spite. To her succeeded a rosy, good-natured, merry lass, who broke theorockery, burned the dinner, tore the clothes in ironing nnd knocked down everything that stood in her way about the house, without at all discomposing herself about the matter, One night she took the stopper from a barrel of molasses, and came off singing up stairs, while the molasses ran soberly out Into the oellar bottom all night till by morning, it was in a state of universal emancipation. Having done this, and also dispatched an entire set of tea things by letting the waiter fall, she one day made her disappearance. Then for a wonder, there fell to my lot a tidy. efficient trained, English girl, pretty and genteel, and neat and knowing how to do everything, and with tho sweetest smile, " Now," said I to myself, " I shall rest from my labors." Everything about the house began to. go right, and looked as olean and genteel as Mary's own pretty self. But alas! this period of repose was interrupted by the vhion of a clever, trim looking young man, who for somo weeks, could be heard scraping his bouts at the kitchen door every Sunday night, and at last, Miss Mary, with some smiling and Mushing, gave me to understand that bIic must leave in two weeks. Why Mary," said I, feeling a little mischievous, ' don't you like the place ?" " O, yes," " Then why do you look for another." " I am not going to another place." " What, Mary, arc you going to learn a trade ? " No, ma'am," " Why, then what do you mean to do." " I expect tokecp house myself, ma'am," said she, laughing and blushing. " Oh, oh," said I, " thats it," and so in two weeks I lost the best little girl in the world, peaco to her memory. After this came an interregnum which put me in mind of the chapter in Chronicles that I used to read with great delight when a child where Basha and EUh, and Tibni, and Zimri and Omri one after the other, came to the throne of Izrael, all in the compass of half a dozen verses. We had one old woman, who stayed a week, and went away with a misery in her tooth, one young woman who ran away and got married, one cook who came at night nnd went away before light in the morning, one very clever girl, who stayed a month, then went away because her mother was sick, another who stayed 6ix weeks, and was taken with the fever herself, and during all this time who can speak the damage and destruction wrought in the domestic paraphernalia by passing through these multiplied hands. What shall we do ? Shall we give up houses, have no furniture f to take care of, keep merely a bag of meal a porridge pot, and a pudding stick, and sit in your tent door, in real patriarchal independence. What shall we do ? The Three Largest Steamships in the World. In a late number of the scienfic American we find the following notice of what are destined to be the three largest steamships in the world ; " The Persia steamship, belonging to the Cunard line, recently launched at Glasgow ; the Adriatic, belonging to the Col lins line, and the New York, belongins to U. Vanderbilt, now building in this oity will be, when completed, the largest mer chant steamers in the world. They wil be about 5,000 ton burden each, and will afford ample opportunity for proving the quality of e. eh in the euniest fur the m.wlery of the Atlantic. The hull of the Persia is of iron, and her engines are to be the side lever kind. The Adriatic and New York are being built of timber. Tho former is to have largo oscillating engines, the latter beam engines. " The keel of the New York ia straight and so arc all her water lines, and her con tre of displacement is midships ; the Adri a.ic has hollow watjr lines, aau lias her centre of displacement 20 feet abaft mid ships. The former is built much stronger than the latter, and has more capacity tor cargo. It is believed that the Adriatic has the finest formed hull for speed, and that it will be the fastest steamer afloat. Time however, will try them all ; their coinpara tive performance will be of great impor tance to the commercial and engineering classes of all countries, Rev. Dr. Bullard. The sudden death of Dr. Bullird on the Pacific Railroad, was the subject of a discourse by Rev. Dr. Bee man, in one of the churches of New York, last sunday week. Dr. B' emun, it will be recollected, was present at the Dedication of Dr. Bullard's church, in this city. on the Sunday before the accident occurred. He remained somo days afterwards, and re ceived as did many other distinguished strangers, an invitation to participate in the excursion. Both Dr. Beeman and Dr. Buliard accepted, but a correspondent, writing to the Boston Journal, says : " The daughter of Dr. Beeman refused to go ; she was anxious to return home, and to her urgent solicitations her farther yielded, and on the morning of the fatal excursion he and his daughter took the conveyance for the East. At the cars he took leave of Dr. Bullard, who said to Dr. Beeman, " Farewell, we shall never meet again in this world." Oh yes we shall," said Beeman, " I may visit the West again or you may visit the East." With great solemnity Dr. Bullard replied, "I have a strong presentiment, Brother Beeman, that we shall never meet again farewell." And so they separated tho one to his home and parish, the other to the awful death awaiting him only a few hours ahead. Death swung his red lantern on the track, and "destruction wasted at noonday." Bio Thoughts. The "Doctor" a great Webster hater, was sitting upon Mali's bench, talking agninst Webster, as was his custom: 'RjTph Waldo Emerson's idea's,' said he, 'will live forever, while Webster's ideas die with him ; Emerson's ideas have force have power, but not so with Webster's." 'That's a lie, said Matt, 'and you know it. if one of Daniel Webster's big thoughts got intd Ralph Waldo Emerson's head it would split it open like a pitcher with ice in it I Now get oil that bench for you can't say anything more against old Dan in this shop. Vcltcbks. A letter from the Crimea tells the following tale ; "Vultures are very numerous ia the Crimea. They smell the powder and await the coming of the Gght to throw tbemselvei on their victims. After one of the recent eombals, an English officer was found on the battle field, who had just expired,' pressing in both of his arms one of those birds of prey, dead like blmstlf, and which be had crushed in , a last effort of agony." Snterding SJorifti). The Drunkard and his Story. From the New York Five Points Monthly Review we select the ensuing scene from real life: A few Sabbaths sinoo, nt morning ser-v ice, one of the most degraded specimens of humanity that ever greeted my vision, came staggering into the chapel of House of Industry. His wild and fiightful looks, ragged and dirty beyond description, his face bruised and swollen, rendered him an object of disgust and terror. He seemed to look at the children with wonderful interest, occasionally muttering to himself, "Beautiful I beautiful 1 O that mine were here I He sat an hour or two more, and then with a long earnest look at the children, staggered out of the chapel, and went up to the dark "valley of the shadow of dualh" Cow Bay. As the bell rang for service in the afternoon, and while the children were clustering together, the same wild looking man staggered in once more. He surveyed.the faces of the children with the closest scrutiny, and at length his eyes rested on two bright eyed little girls, who were singing one of their little hymns. He sat i t movable as a statue during the whole service, gazing intently on the faces of these two children. The services closed, the congregation dispersed, yet he lingered, nnd the tears came coursing down his face thick and fast. Dr. S asked him what was the matter. "I am a drunkard ! A wretch an outcast, homeless and without a penny. Once I had a home and friends, who loved and respected nre. Time passed on, and I beoame a drunkard t One friend after another left me ; still I drank on, and down, down I fell, Father and mother both went down to their graves with broken hearts. My poor wife clung to me when all others deserted me. I still drank on, pawning one article after another till all was gone, and when my wife refused to give me her wedding ring, which she had clung to with a tenacity of a death grasp, I felled her to the earth, seized her finger, tore off the ring and pawned it for rum. That fatal blow maddened her, and in despair, she too drank, and together wo wallowed into the gutAsr. "jJeagless, we begged our way from ?ffmonVto this great city. Here we hired a small cellar in a dark and dismal street, and sent our children out to beg. Many a weary day we spent in that cellar, while our cildren were wandering in the streets, beggi"ff for their drunken parents. About forty days since, my little girls went to beg, and from that hour to this I have not seen them. Without food or fire I clung to my dismal abode, till hunger forced me out to search for my children. My degraded wife had been sent to Blackweli's Island as a vagrant, and alone I went to the House of Refuge, to tho Tombs, and in despair I wandered to the Five Points, and for the last few days I have lived in Cow Bay, among beggars and thieves. To-day I saw children, who, if they had not looked so clean and sung so fweetly, 1 would have called then mine. 0 would to God they were : "Tell me the name," said Dr. S and I will see," In a few moments two interesting little children were led towards him. At the sight of this fearful looking man tney shrank back, the poor man sprang to his feet, exclaiming "they are mine I mine 1 Lome to me, my children. Father loves you, he won't hurt you." Ho reached out his arms ; the little ones were timid at first, but they soon climbed up their father's knee, while the tears were streaming down his face. "Kiss your poor drunken father, my children." But the face of the man was so black and filthy, not a place could be found Soon ihey forgot iho dirty face an 1 remembered their poor degraded f.ither ; and each entwining their little arms around his neck, and fondly kissing, him, the elder one said, with a voice that touched every heart "Father, we are bo happy here that we want to stay. Won't you come and live here too, papa ? what makes you drink so ? Dear papa, do sign the pledge and not drink any more. Mr. Pease found us in the street begging, and now we are happy. Do, papa, come and live here and be good to us as you used to be." The father's heart was overwhelmed, he sobbed and groaned aloud. For more than an hour thy sat together, till at last the old man arose, still clinging to his children and exclaimed ; "The pledge! the pledge I I will never drink again!" I gave him the pledge and from that hour he has faithfully kept it ; He is now a man again, engaged in business earning ten dollars per week, aud none could recognize in the well dressed man who still boards in the house the degraded original whose portrait can still be seen at the House of Industry, da-guerreotyped in its striking deformity and squalor. How to no v? Shirt Bosoms. We of ten hear ladies expressing a desire to know by what proces the gloss on new linens, shirt bosoms, dec, is produced and in or der to gratify them we subjoin the follow- ing reoipe : " Take two ounces of bne while puma- rabic, powder in a pitcher, and pour on a r!nf nr mnra nf watur. Aninrdinr In tUa (Ia gree of strength you desire, and7 then hav ing covered it, let it set an night, in me morning pour it carefully from the dregs into a olean bottle, cork it, and keep for use. A table spoonful of gum water stirred into a pint of staroh made in the usual way will give to lawns, either white or printed, a look of newness when nothing else can restore them after washing." An ExAifPLi. The Kins of Dahomtv an African monarch, (says a recent travel, ler.) beeps a drunkard, reeds him upon rum, and exhibits bim at tbe customs, tbit his emaoiated appearance may shame Lis people from making beasts of themselves. The rustio maiden loVei to linger in shady bowers. " I Write Unto you, Yu&ing Men." A few Sundays ago we listened tofan fx oollent discourse to young men, in one of the churches in this city. Tho lamentable absence of that class of persons from all religious services on the Sabbath, has been a subj 'Ct to which we have given some attention for years past, and wo had the cu- riusity if it deserves no better name to look about, and see how largo an audience the preacher had of those to whom the discourse was addressed. The numb r was exceedingly small, though probably as largo as will average in the other churches. And as we eiu there, n Heeling upon the dangers which threaten our country from this rapidly increasing neglect and abuse of tho Sabbath, we thought some day we would preach one of our sermuns upun the same subject, believing that alter all we have the ear of more of lhat class, perhaps, than all the ministers iu the city put together. And now young men you who never darken the doors of a church on Sunday, who swagger through tho streets with a oigar in yuur mouth, who swear a little, perhaps a good deal, who drink some rum, ami pride yourself on being " one of the b'hoys," will you indulge us with a word in yuur ear ? In a period of years which will seem incredibly short, when you nr-rive at your majority, your olass will compose a very powerful, and may be, a con trolling influence in the management of public allans. Did you ever think of lhat? and it you did, did you realize responsi bilily in the matter? Judging from the present appearance of our churches, when the present generation of men has passed away, the pews will be left pretty much to the lemale portion of the race, it, indeed, they do not imbibe the infidel of the age, and leave them to become houses of mer chandise, if not dens of thieves. The infidelity so rife here, is not the in fidelity of the intellect, which is beooming too popular among scholars of a certain school, but is not the less dangerous. I hey who neglect the SabbtUfb and Us in slitution here, are not thtfee' who have thought much. Theirs is the infidelity of indillerence and the want of thought the infidelity lhat keeps away from all chance of correction, which is not, and cannot be reached, either by the argument or the warning of the pulpit ; and its victims still live their allotted time, then drop into dark, hopeless graves and be forgotten, while their spiritual eyes will opeu upon a world of which they have never thought and the joys of which they are all unfitted to share. . But there is a cause for alarm lying out side of consequences to individuals. In nations where infidelity, whether it be of the intellect or pssion3, has gained the ascendancy, aud the habbath aud the in stilutions of religion have fallen into neg lect, national ruin has fullowed. Our institutions ave based upon the prin ciples of Christianity, and when they have no place in tho hearts of the people, the glorious superstructure v.ilj crumble to dust. It therefore becomes a matter of vital importance, in a national as well as a personal point of view, that all, the old and young alike, stand by the inttitutiona ot Christianity, attend on its ministrations, contribute to its support, and open their minds to the reception of its truths. We beg of young men whoever think of anything, to think of this, and put themselves in a way of attaining a character which shall give to those who are passing away, an assurance that when the burdens and responsibilities of sustaining our institutions shall fall up on their shoulders the shall be 'bravely and worthily borne. Aashua lelegrapn. Irish Filliiusterino. Some seven or eight years ago, there wss a terrible excitement among the "friends of Ireland," and a considerable amount of money was raised in this country to emancipate Ire- ana irora ijrilish rule. Whatever became of the money nobody knows, or if he does, is not willing to tell. At anv rate. Ireland was not emancipated. We see from ad vertisements in the papers, that there is now a simultaneous movement throughout the principal cities, under the authority of a Uluef Directory, looking to tbe raising ol an additional sum, and lor the same ob ject. Apart from the propriety or legality ot any such organizations as these in this country, the purpose contemplated, if any one seriously dues, is chimerical and non sensical. Ireland is inseparably allied to England, and Irishmen generally, so far Irom leeling any desire to emancipate them selves from British rule, are doing all they can to extend it still further, even ovor the Crimea, for a large portion of the British Hruiy was recruneu in ireiana, ana insn I i . T I j j T i men fill up the ranks of her soldiers. A few agitators may pretend to see a general disanection in Ireland to the British gov ernment and a desire for a change, and it does well enough to inflate a stump speech with such nonsense, but recent events in Ireland show such assumption to be erroneous, and all attempts in lhat direction must necessarily fail. If Irishmen in America have any spare cash to devote to philanthropic purpeses, let it be applied to wards improving the condition of their countrymen hnTe,-Philadtlphia Ledger. A v alcabli nor. "What can YOU do ?" asked a traveller of a country urchin whe was in front of a farmer s bouse, tick ling a toad witb a long straw. " Ub, 1 can do mor n considerable. rides the turkeys lo water, milks the geese, cards down the old rooster, puts up the pigs tans in paper, to make em curl, bam strings the grasshoppers, makes fires for the flies to court by, keep tally for daddy and mammy when ihey scold at a mark, and cuts the buttons off daddv's coat. when he's at prayers in the morning." Foroivikkm or Ixjurim. When some of bis courtiers endeavored to excite Philip ihe Good to punish a prelate who had used him ill" I know," said be, " that I can revenge myself; but it is a fine thing to have vengeance in one's power, and not to an it." A NAME IN THE SAND, Alnuo I walked tbe occnn strand , A pearly shell was in my hand, I stopped aud wrote upon the hand My name, the yesr ilia clny, At uoward from Ihe cant I passed, One lingering look bJiind I cast ; A wive caum rolling high sad fast. And washed my lines away. And so melhoiight, 'twill shortly lie Willi every mark on earth from mu t A, wve of dark oblivion's sea Will wtiip across the place Whero I have trod the sandy shore Of time, and been to mo uo more ; Of m, my name, the name I bora, To leave uo track nor trace, Aud yet. with Him who counts the sands, Aud liohU the waters in Hi hands, 1 know a lasting record stands, Inscribed against my imnie, Of all this mortal part has wrought, Of all this til ink iiin soul hat thought, And from these Heeling moments caught, l'"ur glory or for shame. Girls Should Learn to Keep House. A young girl cannot be too well instructed in anything which will affect the com-fortitf a family. Whatever position inso.-ciety she occupies, she needs a practical knowledge of the duties of a housekeeper. She may be placed in such circumstances that it will not be necessury for her to perform much domestic labor; but on this account Bite needs no less knowledge than if she was obliged to preside personally over the cooking-stove and pantry. Indeed, I have often thought that it is more difficult todireot others, aud requires more experience than to 4o the same wrovk with our own hands. Mothers are frequently so nice and particular that they do not liko to give any part of their care to their ohildren, Xfe 13 a great mistake in their management, fur they are often burdened with labor, and peed relief. Children should be early taught to make themselves useful to assist their parents iu every way in their power, and consider it a privilege to do. so Young people cannot realize tho impor-portance of a thorough knowledge of housewifery, but those who have suffered the inconveniences aud, mortifications of ignorance can well appreciate it. Children should be early indulged in, their dispositions to bako and experiment in, cooking t various ways. It is often but a "troublesome help" which they afford, still it is a great advantage to them. I know a little girl, who, at nine years old, made a loaf of bread every week dur-j ing the winter. Her mother taught her how much yeast and flour to use, and she became quile an expert baker. Whenev er she is disposed to try her skill in mak ing simple cakes, or pies, she is permitted to do so. bbe is thus; while amusing her self, learning an important lesson. Her mother calls her her little househeeper and oiten permits her to get what is necessary for the table. She hangs the keys by her siae, ana very musical that jingling is to her ears. I think, before she is out of her teens, upon which she haa not yet entared, that she will have some idea how to cook. Some mothers give their daughters the care of housekeeping each a week by turns. It seems to. me a good arrangement, and a most usetul part ot their education. Domestic labor is by no means incora- patiDte wun the highest degree of rehne' ment and mental culture, Many of the most elegant, accomplished women I hare known have looked well to their household duties, and have honored themselves aud their husbands by so doing. Anna Hope. Curiosities of the Census. Tbe details of the last census, in sun lrv departments, are very interesting. The number of daily newspapers in the country, is 254 of weeklies, 2000, while the number of editors is only 1300. So with churches and clergymen. Of the latter, there are 2700 ; while of the former there are 3500. At tome time or other in the course of every year, two millions five hundred plows are guided by at many farmers, down come the hammers upon one hundred thousand anvils, and fires are kindled ia four millions of homes. There aro twenty-four thousand strings of red tape, the property of as many lawyers, and eighteen thousand of the order of the white apron and cleaver. Over a hundred thousand 'masters' and 'suhool-ma'ams' hold a birchen or moral sway over more than three millions and a-half of satcheled lads and lasses, while quite a million more have seen their twentieth year, and never read a word brothers and sisters of the mystic sign: 'his X mark.' Six millions of cows come home to the milking truly 'the cattle upon a thousand hills.' A remarkable equality in the sexes respectively is note-worthy. It follows that there must be a somewhat similar equality in age, thus settling the question that tbe women, as a general thing, are no yotmgtr than tbe lords of creation, though they may oe a worm or two oeiier. Sharp. Lake Shore train from Buffalo stops at a way station. Eater long-legged Yankee, and finds all the ears "chock full." Yankee to conductor Sa, you, what in the name of Westfield onions be 1 gwins iu au? can t git a seat no now; Conductor Hang yourself upon a nail. 1 ankee i II be hanged ef 1 du. Conductor Well you may as well get used to banging brst as last. Yankee Sure enuff, cos I might be called on to hang yew some day. Conductor Well I cave, and am willing to drop the subject, and stand treat at the next station. Yankee Well, I'm agreed, teein as how its a pretty knotty question. Conductor Why you are as sharp as a . - - - TT ' 1 l . 1 meai axe. uaiut ueen eauog rasors, navs yon 7 Yankee Well, not txaolly. But yew see the (rain I cum deoun on run into a pile oi grindstones 1-Conductor and bis lantern treat out I XrLucy Stone, now Mrs, Elackwell, has purchased a farm on the Foi River, nni Csdar K-pidt, Iowa. . . . .Koom-attic panes ; those belonging to a garret window,. . . . .What kind of a doctor W.auld a duck make? A quack doctor, ...."I introduce a bill for the da-, slruction of worms," as the wood pecker, taid in a stump apeeoli. ' '. ... . . AoodGsh breakfast and' an India, rubber coat will keep a man dry all, day. " ! am going to draw, tips bean, into, a knot;" at the young lady taid tyhenih.e,. stood at the hymeneal, allerj, ' . . . ." The Pen is mightier than the, Sword," quoth Richelieu but the wily ear-dtnal sajd nothing about the tqssort. ... .An ancient and exceedingly common way of book-keeping is to keep all the books you lay your hai)ds on, ' ' , . . . .In becoming the "lion" of A party, does a man necessarily hae tq make a, beast of himself ....Any one may do a casual apt of good nature ; but a continuation of them shows it a part of tbe temperament. - ... .Betting is immoral ; but how can the man who. bets be worse than, be tliat ia no better ? ... .1 admire your beautiful ' eropw this year as the fox said to the poultry, in the hearing of the farmer,. . . , .The bread of life is love ; the salt of life is work ; the sweetness of life, pop-, sy ; the water of life, faith. Mrt. Jamei-set... " ' rrti si , ...."inongn mat to sight, to. memory dear," as the maiden said to her lover. -I...- i,u . i...:j : i j J nifcif uio iaoo nt uuiieu m uuaru riui whiskers. A PosEft Burk told Garrick at Hampton that all bitter things were hot. " Indeed," replied Qarrick, " then what d,Q you think of a bitter cold day ....An independent man is one who can live without whisky or tobacco, and, shave himself with brown, qap an,d caW water without a mirror. ... . A printer down. South o&ers to. sell his whole establishment for a clean shirt and a meal of victuals. He has lived on promises tll his whiskers haye. stopped trrnivinrv ... .He that sympathizes in all the hap pines8 of others, perhaps himself enjoys ihe safest hanmness. anil h lliut ia mml ed by all the folly of others, has perhaps, attained the soundest wisdom. ' . . . . A gentleman seeing the town-crleji of Bristol, one market-day, standing unemployed, asked hira the reason. "Oh,' said he, " I can't cry to-day ; my wife is dead." ' Somebody says ' if ladies would; at meat once a day, pickles once a week, and sweetmeats but once a year ; if they would take a cold bath every night and morning, and walk five miles a day, thry. would have do need of cosmetics or r. ,1 paint to make them beautiful." . . .The editor of the Rochester Demo crat bus discovered a wrinkle for Sports men. It is to destroy fleas on a dog, and keep them away from him forever afterwards. The operation is simply to W the dog in camphene for five minutes, and then set fire to bim. OK A MlNTKt,. Here Ilea a form place no imposing stokp To mark tbe bed where weary it is lain I 'Tis mattks dead! itsniiSMon all being done. To be distributed to dust again. The body's but the tym, at beat, of man, Whose impress is the spirit's deathless ?aob Worn out Tree is thrown to ri again, The mr-agasioN lives through an eternal age. A rfiwdv. intending tn ha vittv thus accosted a lady in the street : . . "Madam, can you tell me where I can, see the elephant ?" " No. but if I had a lookinn'-trlasa TM thow you a very large monkey," The . . A.t an assemblage of a few friends one evening lately, the absenoe of a lady was nouoea, woion was apologised for or an acquaintance, who stated that she. was detained by a littlo inoident. "Ah. ves." exclaimed a Mrs. Clatterbell, "and a beautiful little incident it was too weighs just nine pounds aud a half." . . A tall, slabsided Yankee, who was ' making bis appearance at Cape May last summer, iiroucu oown to me beach during bathing time. On seeing the bevy of beauties disporting in the waves, he burU into a fit of enthusiasm i "Je-ru-sa-lem 1 if that don't remind me of something good we have to bum." ' What is that?" re, t marked a friend who heard bim.. "What, is it 7" said Jonathan, smacking Lis lipv " Why, its lasses and water." . . j . . . ," Don't you want a real prime lot,-of butter T" asked a pedler who bad pick ed it up at fifty different places. " What sort of butter is that T" asked tbe merchant. ' ' ' ' The clear quill made by my wife r from a dairy of forty cows only two : cburnings." ! " What makes it so many colors T" ' ; ' " I gnets you. never would bave asked that question if you had seen my cows, for they are a darned sight tpeokelder taa 1 the butter is." ....Spiritid Ritoet. The following is a specimen of what a Reporter once did,, when duty armed and t quipped according f to law, with a brick in his bat, a snake ia his boot, and shot in his neck; - , "Yesterday morning at 4-o'clock P. M., a small man named Jones, or Bfdwa, or Smith, with a Levi in the hole pf hi r trowsers, committed arsnie by swallowing-a dote of suicide. The verdict of the, in-' quest returned a Jjry that the d. crated came to the facts in accordance with hit death. lie leaves a child and nil cnftll ives to lament the end of bit onum' ' !o. la dea'.h ce U t a r ' - ' - ' f ft' !.! if IP:. i ' 1